The Urban Monk

You’ve been lied to.

Not maliciously, no doubt, and not with intent and most often not to harm, but lied to anyway.

The lie is this: that what you think is always good. That more thinking leads to better decisions. That the contemplated life, the endlessly analysed life, is the road to success and happiness.

It is KILLING YOU.

If you are reading this, there is already a good chance you are looking at why or how thinking is an issue.

You have probably read so many self-help books, and nothing has changed. Why would this book be any different? The honest answer is I don’t know. Still, while you were running through the thoughts of this book being pointless and whether you would benefit anyway (it is a good book), your thinking took you away from this present moment, each thought creating a tiny spike of stress, each thought demanding your attention and some sort of resolution or action.

This is what I mean when I say thinking is killing you.

Let me be clear, I am not talking about the kind of thinking that solves problems or creates things, like fixing a dripping tap or designing and building bridges. I’m talking about the other kind-the kind that takes over your waking hours. That endless mental chatter. The what-could-go-wrong catastrophising, the replaying of past conversations, the rehearsal of future ones, the constant, tiring, never-ending commentary on every fucking thing. The ANALYSIS OF PARALYSIS.

This kind of overthinking is a modern epidemic running out of control. It’s the background of modern life, so constant and pervasive that you don’t even notice it anymore, do you? It is like living right by the Motorway; eventually, you stop hearing the noise. I recently moved from such a place, and I actually miss the soothing, river-like sound now. But for the majority, that noise would be grating, still wearing them down, still taking its toll.

Overthinking isn’t just annoying. It’s not just a bad habit or a shit personality; it is actually scientifically proven that it is destructive, costing you your health, your relationships, your productivity inside and outside of what work you may have, your peace of mind, and most definitely years of your life.

The research is absolute. Chronic overthinking, particularly by focusing on the symptoms of one’s mental distress, ruminating, is strongly associated with anxiety, depression, insomnia, weakened immune system and cardiovascular disease.

When you are stuck in your head, your body pays the price. For every negative thought, body vibrations change, stress hormones elevate (fight, flight, or freeze), and your nervous system stays in a state of activation, as your body and brain believe the sabre-tooth tiger is about to pounce. Digestion and sleep suffer, and inflammation markers rise.

For those who have read my previous book, you will remember that I am not a scientist, but I have done some research.

But the damage goes way beyond what is happening to the body. Overthinking destroys your ability to take action. According to psychologists, what is created is analysis paralysis. The state where you spend so much time thinking about what to do, or not, that nothing actually ever gets done. You consider every possible outcome, good or bad, until the opportunity passes you by.

While your head is like a dishwasher on a full cycle, life is happening. Right NOW. In this moment. But you are not in the game, away somewhere in your head. Lost in a maze of thoughts about what just happened (or what happened years ago), which you cannot change, or the future, which doesn’t exist yet. You miss or ignore the only thing that is real: this present moment.

The Thinking Addiction

What you don’t realise, reader, is that overthinking is an addiction.

Yes, an actual addiction. Compulsive behaviour- the inability to stop even when you want to. Built-in tolerance-you look for more stimulation to feel satisfied, the I’ll have it when syndrome. I’ll write a book WHEN, I’ll be happy WHEN. Then there’s the withdrawal, when you try actually to quiet your mind, you feel discomfort, anxiety and even panic. And then there is denial, insisting that you’re just being thorough, careful, or responsible.

However, we get stuck, like any addict, into believing that the illusion of control is a cost worth paying. If you can think about something enough, analyse it thoroughly enough, consider every eventuality carefully enough, then surely you can prevent bad things from happening. You believe you will be in a position to make the perfect decision, and you can avoid pain, failure, and regret.

But you can’t. The control is an illusion, a fake, an imaginary construct. All we are doing is swapping the uncertainty of life for the certainty of unhappiness and suffering.

Overthinking is suffering; it is self-inflicted mental torture, and you’re doing it to yourself hundreds of times a day.